Okay. So, you know me as Gunshy and Gunshy Army is of course going swimmingly.
Not really.
I have like 7 or 8 songs, a few missing huge chunks. My voice blows. My guitar needs work. My computer's dying. I'm lacking focus, direction, and a job. Things are bad, kids. I'm optimistic, of course, but things are just really bad right now.
Some passages from my (still) newest book, in case you'd like to prevent me from more or less starving:
I'm kind of amazed that any impact can be made at all by one person or another, except for procreation or destruction. Whole armies' worth of workers or slaves will toil and die for decades or whole centuries just to build something that might outlive each of them tenfold, but with enough premeditation it only takes one person one second to destroy that same thing. By that token, it's a wonder there is such a thing as society at all.
At an upscale bank in Berlin, I was awarded a plaque as Employee of the Month on the same day I embezzled half a million marks. Then I got it again the next month when I demonstrated how they could streamline the business, saving the company twice that amount. The boss wanted to introduce me to one of his daughters.
Soon after, I cleaned out the vault, quit, set fire to the building, and peed on the ashes while dressed as a firefighter. I had plundered and destroyed a castle that stood at that same spot three hundred years before it was ever a bank.
[Helen] cleared her throat. "There is another shell-shaped weapon, an orange one, in a private mansion in the former Czechoslovakia. You'll need to retrieve it. You will use that one to retrieve another shell, one which is far more powerful than any other."
She blew some air out of her cheeks and put her hands into a ball in front of her, then expanded the ball like a mushroom cloud. She waited for my eyes to return from her lap to her face. Then she said, "The orange one is a Fire Sword. The one in Antarctica is white."
My hand made a sort of presenting motion as she said the name of the dark continent. The true dark continent. Here's where I come in, I thought, schlepping to the underside of the world to get a bomb.
Helen told me the capabilities of The Flash Bang, as she called it. The whole solar system could be destroyed by a little white mussel shell if that's what one wished. It could also kill individual species of living organisms.
I asked about the animals, like could it get rid of snakes in Hawaii or cats in Australia?
She said she didn't know. She guessed so.
And you can read the first FOUR chapters on Scribd!
Available for EVERYONE ON EARTH @ Amazon (in paperback), Payhip, and iTunes!
Also feel free to follow me on Twitter @RossAllaire just be-fucking-cause. But be prepared for shit like that.
