status report for Ross, aka "Gunshy"
a la TIME's weekly index
07-08-09

1. returned, back from vacation
2. recording new track; had been stuck in head for all of previous entry's subject; attemptedly recorded then deleted at last second before catching flight to honolulu
3. recovering from sunburn; acquired at sandy beach - aloe, aloe, aloe
4. back at work day after return, still running on honolulu time - now simple insomnia
5. previous re-recordings of "blurred horizon" in its entirety takes a backseat because new song won't wait
6. previous misgivings about band-forming begin to melt away
7. previous reservations of direction of life clear, slightly; social status is secure, only insecurity is own insecurity - see previous
8. fear or at least major annoyance of flying seems mightily torn down a few solid notches; 8 flights in all, including day trip to big island for kilauea, candies, and ken's for late breakfast and early dinner
9. perplexed at having technically been in phoenix 4 times total so far, having never stepped foot outside the airport
10. recovering primary mission goals
11. choosing area of study, narrowing down selection of life ambition or at least beginning instruction in practical, certified knowingness - either social work or education, both of which involve psychology, either of which seem a great way to go - all the while feeding income and spare time (what little there ever is) into acquiring closeness to dream occupation, precisely the production of media
12. resolved to acquiring rights to production company name in 2009
13. resolved to continue writing in every facet of my current abilities - music, lyrics, prose, scripts, etc.
14. resolved to more emotional closeness with family - blood-related and otherwise, and to say to hell with the rest; with exception to such case where emotional closeness includes physical/romantic/ideological closeness, and/or sex
15. resolved to write, create, change, love, and hate whatever the fuck i want, whenever the fuck i want; with special regard for subjects of #'s 6, 7, 11, and 14
16. resolute in being esoteric and deadpan honest at whim
17. amazed by the simple excitement and mystery of all things - a cat's purr, a moon over a mountain, the nature of the world; cynicism tempered with optimism backed by benign blue-collar paranoia and the boy scout motto
18. resolved to fucking doing this thing; resolved to rock

[+R]